oh, this is easy. your imagination will trap you and your mind forever when you set someone else's definition of sane as the standard

i went to go see "the neon demon" in a small theater with my mom late at night a long time ago. right when it was released. i've liked films ever since. i went home and acted like i was in that movie for two days. i didn't want it to end

i still appreciate punk pieces and have a few in my luggage. i'm elated about fabric, it's a whole new side of myself i haven't seen. i love these new iterations of nylon i'm seeing from the 3D printing space. getting really inspired by everything i'm seeing online that is associated with different studios around the world of all mediums outside of sides of the internet like pinterest. no clothes in my mind right now. just really falling in love with the internet again

i wouldn't call it clean energy activism. my spirit really does want to talk about everything about nuclear energy. there's no such thing as clean or free energy, but technically there are objectively lesser forms of energy that exist. it's not right. i know people don't casually have conversations with themselves like i do about the tech in their houses and war evolving them. diversity of energy source is a distraction. it comes naturally to me and always has to think about things like this. i want to talk about something important on my own platform if i have one

there are too many

i'm currently being stalked offline and online from someone i don't like calling my ex. i put this together during a walks with Paimon. we were on a journey for things like sewing supplies and oil paint. he guides me to the bookstore in the city for a new book to buy blind just to get into it, explore untapped parts of taste. then this guy comes up from the stairs as i'm heading down them. we looked each other in the eye and he looked terrified. he ran away. it's the man from a long time ago in the diary's early conception, i've always been uncertain if that was truly resolved at all. paimon explained he was here for his own "manifesto" the way i'm inspired from gruppo di nunn, which is entirely about love as a dark force of power and arrogance. i knew he was telling the truth because he doesn't like bookstores at all. paimon explained he's been looking at website's code and trying to do things like getting into music and painting. i am a very wary person when it comes to accusations of anything, especially others, but i know this is true because everything about this individual is sinisterly ambitious to me. i felt crazy seeing him and started thinking that everything happening is fake or i'm broken of some kind again. i even doubted Paimon existed just from seeing him alone. i got his point and i don't like it. stay at home, focus on your art, let chaos take care of it on its own. the art will make more impact and we both know he's not going to stop watching. he made me confront my stalker in a way that was so jarring i've been confused on how yo process this much hate directed towards me but i follow all their advice and focus in on it instead of running away. i avoid downtown entirely

i don't practice astrology at all. i'm very well versed in it however, and understand degrees of planetary alignment and asteroid frequencies are the important part of the chart. i'm fully committed to being a black magician and we believe all is malleable and am reeducation myself under stolas' wing. it's beautiful to me. his ideas aren't found on any softwares i've seen. it's separate from stolas' mindset but satellites would affect the chart as well. that's my zen

me and Paimon think art should be taken seriously all the time if you want anything out of it

lobster bisque or miso broth with no noodles

i have a virtual light novel lined up against two softwares for desktop that work as esoteric solutions unrelated to astronomy or astrology. i'm waiting for my offline life to align with my online reputation. something is not right. the novel was written in a state of hysteria or frenzy and contains no characters of any kind throughout it's entirety. dantalion