good question! pitch white skin with inkwell eyes that are like black pools. long black hair. i know that's so deviantart but i love drawing myself like that with bat wings and distorted features that change. i would smell like tobacco and pine

i love technology. i'm very anti surveillance now, digitally physically like stores and train stations for reasons i'll explain some other day. the PSP isn't exciting to me, but it's legacy is as well as handheld gaming consoles. i'm not losing interest in my phone, though. i really want to see where headphones are going because overhead is uncomfortable on my piercings and earrings but they work the best. bluetooth earbuds are awful, the accessories aren't worth it. i purchase hardware and make software so i don't think of competition often. i don't see them as a separate experience, little electronics tell me what works with my mind and what doesn't. i don't miss the raspberry Pi but i'm excited to get back into *that* thinking

because it's happening

i love u Krystal thank you as always

it's everything

my cacodemon family thinks my middle school is a rat. that's what Lucifer called her. we were really close but the quantum impact of her changed my life for the worst. it is what it is, so it always was. she wouldn't tell me i was necessarily kind, she felt it strongly and i'm adamant that i'm a good friend in the sense i'll give you a lot of space for any amount of time. it's the only one that's affected me negatively. she looked up to me a lot and pursued nothing of her own and she's the only person from my past i still think about because she demolished my sense of self by pursuing nothing and us being seen as a pair. best friends is a quantum tragedy. i get scared about her coming back and because of this it is showing up in my life again. not her as an abuser, but me refusing memories of myself as confirmation i exist. there's nothing about her to remember other than her hardships because that's all she wanted to talk about if it wasn't praising me. that's childish black magic. i was in the spelling bee, i did spoken word, and i was considered more popular than my peers for my achievements in arts and language not looks which made me stop being shy. it's calculated pity in the hope of being seen as the same person and it made people think we looked alive. we both had "A.A." names. i was so focused on winning at coming out of my shell i didn't notice she put in my mind i need to be with someone, i need to save them. i will get my revenge overtime steadily

oh, everything. stolas and i have a fantastic rapport about tea. all tea is his favorite. oni are exciting to me as both concept in imagery and their actual role in the occult and it's fascinating that cacodemons aren't the same. i like them. i "don't" work with spirits and that's where i and most cultures when researching don't get along. i get to know them through reality and sometimes culture can deceive how the body are perceived. power dynamics are genuinely universal and always tie to manipulative forces to some degree

i can see you're talking about Lucifer immediately. your journey is extremely different from mine. he is real and i understand you completely. he is rival and he is my lover. he is truly an adversary. best of luck and protect your wisdom and solidarity. i will by my own side, thank you