a lot of archaeology. different artifacts, inventions, and bones and their associated purposes. why certain behaviors exist in different rituals and general religious history outside of the text. learning different symbolisms ranging from the kabbalah to the caduceus by studying the arts and artists who practiced mysticism. it's a lot of observation and reflection. everyone has their own dogma like buddhism and mine is more focused on revolutionary demonology, not demonaltry. it's not the same thing. i enjoy the courses that the Seoul National University offers if you're interested

i know we are all plugged into a collective network of consciousness. everyone's talking themselves all the time. it is hard to tell what is real and what is not for all humans on earth. i think there's nothing unusual about the internet compared to human evolution. i love actor network theory, look it up. it explains all existence very well. i don't think it'll be helpful because i think there's nothing abnormal about our experience. kings have existed in the childhoods of serfs and have never spoken to them once. it's weird for both sides always has been. there's nothing wrong with you, i think it's important to remember that theory so you avoid the feeling of being taken advantage of

i'm an occultist getting an education, not a witch. when i was hanging out in the streets a guy came up to me. he called himself "Lucifer". he was a black guy with a cool Touko Lasksonsen fashion look. i was sitting on the steps in front of the punk shop we all hung out at. it's a hot summer night. everyone's drunk and busy yelling about nothing. it was a good party and those were rare there. Lucifer just introduced himself and said I was beautiful, too beautiful be out here. then he offered me cocaine and i said "no, thank you". he was confused and a little flustered and just stood there looking at me. eventually he just walked away, no goodbye. throughout the night he would make fun of the homeless people who would sleep on that block who were also punk and humiliating them for not being able to afford his drugs. next time i went i asked a friend at the time who knew a little bit about everyone "Do you know that Lucifer guy?" and he had no idea who i was talking about.

it's charcuterie. i used to have thanksgiving with my father's side of the family. i was very small. they would do charcuterie with cheeses and meats, red meats and cheeses with a bloomy rind and ones using the pasta filata method. they would bring back strange gifts and collected antiques from countries like china that i found bizarre and ominous

third spaces aren't static. i don't like performing at live houses because those people don't like me. i stopped entertaining them and started entertaining me. i realized overtime i like going to the atelier and eating a macaroon while talking to designers working on a project, and enjoying the piano there. i don't want friends i just let people come and go. people say cruel things when you change your social circle. mine was "pretentious".

no i'm at war with ctrl + z. it destroyed my voice as a craftworker, i don't like the word artist but i like the word art. i need to keep moving around and changing things before they get too easy. i'm elated to be discovering my voice is bigger than my body. i don't like time travel, there's no going back and it's not for me. i love blank paper and the canvas terrifies me. a png makes me feel nothing but back pain but the colors on a monitor are beautiful

my favorite character is stolas because he's the most accurate. calm down.

unhealthy foods and unhealthy cities breathe life into my world. it's a monstrosity. it's serenity